Apologise, 19 year old daughter dating 24 year old certainly not right
Posted in Dating
So recently I met a girl. Not knowing her age. We went out to dinner and the zoo. We had a great time. I have not had so much fun with a girl in years. Finally I asked her how old are you? I damn near had a heart attack when she said 19!
Age is irrelevant. If you two are connecting and really get each other, that's all that matters. The younger of the 2 of you is over 18 so, the age issue, in my eyes has sort of gone out the window. Jarett Xper 5. Well if you're not using her for sex, then that's always a good thing. But to be honest, it might be tough because you are probably at different stages of your life.
You're done with school or almost done, while she is just beginning. Plus she's going to change a lot over the next couple years. But that's not to say it couldn't work, but it just takes 2 special people, that's all. There is a ten year age difference between my mother and her boyfriend, they are incredibly happy together, after a certain point age doesn't really matter too much as long as the two involved have the same mind set, maturity level and they are happy together and understand what the age difference means as it applies to them.
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Martine Xper 4. You seem to really like her so her age should not matter. Its not like its illegal. I don't think it is that much of an age difference.
I wouldn't mind. Related myTakes. Show All. You cannot expect to be successful in digging around behind her back anyways. So, support her, make sure she knows that you are there for her, be truly happy that she found someone etc. You can try to pull the guy into the family; i.
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Make those relaxed events, not "tests". If and when you see signs of danger; then you act, with decisiveness. By supporting her, confronting the boy, and so on. Aside from that, you have precious little leverage, and being negative about it upfront will likely spoil whatever "power" you have in the situation.
I heard stories from my parents: when he took her home after a date, it was her bedtime she was in high schoolso she would retire to her room.
19 year old daughter dating 24 year old
But he would stay on with her parents, playing cards sometimes late into the night. So, her parents my maternal grandparents got to know Dad as a friend and potential son-in-law, through their own play-dates, not just from whole-family gatherings.
But things were different then - she was trained by her mother to be a housewife and was not expected to go to school past 12th grade. Her own mother only went to school through 8th grade, which was normal for girls at that time. So, it seems to me that the issue isn't the difference in their ages, so much as that she's too young in this time to have a serious relationship that could be potentially long term.
A younger man would realize that they both have further life changes, but he might already be on a career track. But that depends on the career: he might still have yeaes of school and internships ahead, too! So maybe they are closer together in terms of life stages, than implied in the post. It is perfectly reasonable for you to be feeling anxious about the well being of your daughter. Age differences aside, she is moving into a life of her own. Training wheels are off and she is going out into the world.
There's always something you could find to be worried about as a parent. If it's not age difference in the guy she's dating, it could be something else. I'm concerned that she'll get hurt, pregnant or that even if they are truly in love that she'll end up growing up too quickly and miss out on what girls her age do, university, traveling building a career. The risk of being hurt in a relationship is universal.
I don't think that is any more or less likely due to a mildly larger age gap than might be expected of a young woman. There are certainly couples with a larger age gap who are happy. There's really no guarantee and she just has to live through her own relationship experience. As far as getting pregnant, throughout human history, nay mammalian history, females have served an integral role as mothers. It's a relatively recent and perhaps even baseless assumption that she will be happier pursuing university studies and a career.
What is there to worry about her missing out on or that she will grow up to quickly if she finds a fulfilling life as a mother, just as many women have throughout history? Yes, even those mothers who are young by modern expectations can have a very fulfilling life.
But all of the studies showing stay at home moms are happier and all of the examples of childless women who pursued their careers and ended up with regrets really don't mean anything when it comes to what will be the best life for your daughter.
She may find that she wants to pursue that university and career path after all.
I am reminded of an old (American) story of a year old girl who chased (and won) a year old military officer, who later became a General, William Westmoreland. At an early age, she had latched on to a "winner," and her life was made. I see a possibility of that happening here. So I am happy. She is pretty well rounded girl and is mature for a 19 year old. We are both in the medical field she is a CNA and going to school to become an RN. I am a pretty realistic person and understand that 19 and 26 year olds are on totally different playing fields but for some reason it doesn't seem that way with her. Dec 04, The thing about dating a 19 year old when you are 24 is that she is 19, and you are probably going to need an extra degree of patience at vizyonbarkod.com may be moments when she may demonstrate some insecurities or she may make some unwise and short sighted decisions, decisions that she would not make if she were a few years older.
Either way, if you are going to adopt the modern outlook on such things, you are going to have to accept that it's entirely up to her to choose her own path in life. I know the real concern. You don't want to end up taking care of another newborn! Well, provided her partner has his life together, you could be a proud grandfather. Hopefully they are responsible enough to plan such a thing without any surprises.
But if she gets pregnant and it doesn't work out, he's in a far worse situation than she. It's in his best interest to not get her pregnant because these days a man can lose all of his parenting rights and every penny he makes in such a situation. It's certainly cause for hesitation. Maybe it would put you at ease to remind him that family courts most certainly will not be on his side and gauge how sensible he is when it comes to responsibly having premarital sex with your daughter.
He does seem a very sensible person, he owns his own successful business although still living with parents. It sounds like they have something in common. Hey he could be a lot more mature and experienced than the guys her age. It could very well be much worse.
Oct 15, i have no reson why any 1 should be. age is a number, im sure i would be more against my 19 year old daughter dating a 19 year old drug addict or layabout. im 21 and my fiance is my ex was 5 years older aswell. Jan 31, Q: My daughter is 15, and I recently found out that she has started dating a year-old boy.I have met this boy several times, and he is very sweet and responsible, working a full-time job and.
Unless there's some specific cause for alarm, I can't see anything to worry about here any more than if she were dating a guy who is I got together with my current girlfriend when she was 16 and I was Not AS big a difference, but a significant enough of one to be a concern for myself as well as it took a long time for me to be truly sure her parents approved. It was rather awkward for me to ask about it, as you'll understand, but it would have saved us all quite a bit of a headache if we had opened this conversation from either side.
The core reason I didn't go around my girlfriend to ask her parents this was mostly out of respect for her autonomy. She was "old for her age", and in the end it turned out her parents had never expected differently from her.
Reading some of the other answers, I think everyone is pushing too much advice onto you and as a parent you already know much of what they are saying. Become closer to her boyfriend and carefully insert yourself into his life.
Have a conversation with your daughter about her excitement and experience instead of voicing your concerns. Make it about sharing what she is going through and what her fears are. Reassure her that love is not something to be afraid of. Tell her to embrace the intensity of her emotions so she can always remember these feelings. Begin placing responsibility onto your daughter that keeps her involved in her own family's life.
For example you can decide that Sundays she must help you to cook so that you can pass on your tricks to her. Go with her to do STI screenings and teach her that one must always keep getting checked regardless of monogamy and commitment.
My 19 Year Old Daughter Is Dating a 50 Year Old Man and It's Slowly Killing Me. He failed his congenital heart defect test at 24 hours old, just before he was set to go home with us. He had been sleeping a lot, but seemed healthy and was feeding. They told us he had a heart murmur and he had to go to the nursery. So if you're a year-old, you can feel free to be with anyone who is at least 19 (12 + 7) while the rule states that year-old women can feel comfortable dating year-old men, this. If you ve been frustrated that the mints and gum aren 19 year old daughter dating 24 year old working, you shouldn t be surprised Mints and gum will temporarily cover up the odor, says Dr. Dawson, but you really need to get to the source. Once you take care of the source, the problem should solve itself.
It's just good habit. You already sound like a great parent so just continue being that.
My first love was 14 years older than me and I can tell you that your concerns are justified. If he begins to mistreat her or you see any signs of emotional abuse then you can put your foot down in a loving and parental way.
Her boyfriend and his family should be well aware of this fact. Things are above-board and within bounds, it seems. If you trust your daughters judgement and maturity then you can ration your concerns or reserve them for indications of the pace of progress in the relationship. Relative age difference will diminish quickly over time. I don't have much else to add but I would bring you to note that age is not just a chronological number. There is biological age and your mental and emotional age to consider.
The specific circumstances in your daughter's instance might not be out of order.
Your daughter is in a high risk, but also high reward situation. You can't and shouldn't prevent the relationship, but you should set some ground rules to minimize the risks, and maximize the rewards. I am reminded of an old American story of a year old girl who chased and won a year old military officer, who later became a General, William Westmoreland.
At an early age, she had latched on to a "winner," and her life was made. I see a possibility of that happening here. It's comforting to know that the young man "seems a very sensible person, and owns his own successful business.
If he is also "honourable," and this is the key, he will protect your daughter. If this is the case, "the game is worth the candle. The main thing is to set some standards. First, that "protection" is used for all physical activities. Second, that she keeps track of where the relationship is at all times.
Third, that she comes to you for help and guidance if she ever feels that she's in over her head. Adolescent girls are more mature than guys by several yearsin the late teens and early 20s.
So the eight year difference in ages may be more like four or five in maturity. It could be that two people who are both unusually mature for their ages "found" each other at a young age. If that's the case, they will be more compatible over the long term than either with other, more "random," people closer to their own age. It's also possible that one or both of them senses this. As parents, I wouldn't stand in their way, but I would "stand by" for possible trouble.
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Tom Au 1 1 silver badge 7 7 bronze badges. Please use comments for clarification, not tangential observations or answers - use Parenting Chat if you want to discuss! Sorry, I don't understand your point, "I can only think he's with her for one reason!
If you're not a native English speaker, that phrase "for one reason! Fattie, I am not a native speaker, but isn't that contradictory to OP: "he must be thinking about starting a family, marriage, etc and her starting out in life. It contradicts the premise. Based on the logic, it shows that "Reductio ad absurdum. Active Oldest Votes.
For instance: You have knowledge of the guys work and living situation. They presumably live close You have another set of parents you can communicate with.
19-Year-Old Says She Got A ‘Half-Assed’ Invite To Be In Dad’s Wedding
You KNOW about the situation. It's not a secret. So don't panic. These are good things. You sound like a great parent and I wish the very best to you and your daughter.
My year is the first year to be required to stay in full time education until the academic year in which we turn The child in question is either my year or the year below. I'm not saying this is a bad answer, but it is quite anecdotal. My heart was breaking. I couldn t get a word in between them. Before approaching your girlfriend about her halitosis, it s a good idea to understand more about the issue. There are several causes of bad breath, says Dr.
S, poor brushing and flossing are probably the primary reason, but dry mouth, gum disease, and illness like a sinus infection or post nasal drip can also cause some funky breath.
If you ve been frustrated that the mints and gum aren 19 year old daughter dating 24 year old working, you shouldn t be surprised Mints and gum will temporarily cover up the odor, says Dr. Dawson, but you really need to get to the source. Once you take care of the source, the problem should solve itself.