Commit error. 30 year old dating 40 year old completely agree with
Posted in Dating
FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags. Is this a cause for concern? This concerns me. According to her, everything is brilliant and wonderful and he is a prince who treats her with respect, love, and affection. I am posting to query how problematic this age difference is considered by mefites, whom I consider a good barometer on this sort of thing.
Sounds like your guy has given up, which is a state of mind, not a matter of age. Yet another male unicorn! Seriously ever dude over 50 looks 35 and is in great shape right? Or at least all of those commenting on here! And they all have the stamina of 30 year olds. Quick to shoot down what these men say. These men exist. Maybe the problem is the outlet and not the plug.
Reading the comments of men in my opinion demonstrates the exact point I am trying to make. She also experiences physical changes that may make it difficult to have sex or require a change in how she does. On the flip side is the male response to this age related decline I call it the 3ds defen denydeflect.
How dare you accuse me of slowing down in bed. These is usually followed by a personal jab or name calling. Because men think all other men their age are stallions in bed. Men lie to each other about using the little blue pill and rarely if at all do men discuss this issue with each other. What results is that men struggling with age related changes reach the conclusion that they are all along and something is clearly wrong with them.
Or the women blame themselves thinking the decreases drive or ED is their fault. Everybody will agree with you that both men and women have declined sex drives as they age. One thing that has stayed the same is my desire to have sex is just as strong as it was when I was younger. So the point is yes as we get older we will slow down but that does not mean that we cannot get better as we get older. If all else fails then there is always a prescription to be had that can help in most cases.
If sex is the only factor you are considering then you are probably right. It seems you put a lot of weight on looks, physical shape, and sexual performance for a happy marriage. I was married 24 years to my younger wife before cancer took her several years ago. It was never an issue. Women can have all the sex they want to have without the need to get married. If you build your marriage on sex it is likely going to fail at some point regardless of any age gap.
We are all going to experience health issues at some point, nobody is exempt from it. Some of us maybe sooner than we would like, in my case my younger wives health declined. LOL john such a typical response from a man having problems in the bedroom. Telling it like it is is not mean spirited. I think YOUR husband might be the problem. My uncles and aunts, from both paternal and maternal side, on an average have an age gap of 10 years between them.
My grandparents had 14 years between them. In short, it depends on the people involved in the relationship. This really helped me. I love my guy so much and he is so good to me. Right now I cannot imagine falling out of love with him and the thought of it brings me to tears. I am 31 and he is He still works out and is in great shape and I constantly worry about our future and taking the next step.
But the incompatibility in a few years is something I may not be prepared for. Now the thought of that is not attractive. I know we should call the quits now to save the heartache and time but I am terrified because he is the only man that has ever conquered me. But maybe because he is older. And we been together since, and yes we still love each other. I was 19 and he was 32 when we began to date.
I am in that situation now and trying to determine whether it makes sense to continue or whether I should just break it off. Good luck with your decision. And be like. Sigh fine. Or see yah and yeah that was great, I experienced that by myself!!! Wait Then why did. Then ill be widow at an older age and die with out that grow old togther cause he already died quite a bit before I was close to aging in.
I was a cna geriatrics and am concerned of our future to where he married his future caretaker and ill be left screwed with angry underpaid. And withoutmy loving husband a hand to squeeze. I know thats all. I could grow. I looove him. With what I said do i?
Or am. I just depressed? Perhaps crazy Or honest. We alll die. But freaking crap I didnt want at allll to die that much earlier than my husband.
Grow old together, not watch you grow hecka old slowly die while I slowly watch and grow a hurt back to now deal with alone and poor due to medication s and medical bills and funeral. I wanted to be. Ive seen sooo many mourn the death of spousesand. I think being in the medical field had really really jaded me and I hope distorted my view.
And this all crazy talk but. Not to mention honestly are you as fast as you were when you were 20s as in 60? Orrrrr 70s vers 30? Noooo the gap and body progression is real and when you hit 42 you age 6 months quicker every x amount.
I was a cna geriatrics and am concerned of our future to where he married his future caretaker and ill be left screwed. You already had your 20s why take another s cause when you 70 and theyre 55 thats a huge difference in those years especially.
He could have found. Now im. With watching him. The pain is soooo real. And ask allllll the time why. And I ask why 15 years. Didnt spell. I love my husband and he adores me. Not wanting to travel or go to functions is a problem in personality differences than age. You two may have been a bad fit but I think the age difference may have been a red herring here.
Enjoying life is can occur are any age. A good indicator might be to meet the parents. Genetics plays a big role and the lifestyle they live. The advice I would give women dating older men is to make sure they stay fit, that makes a very big difference. Watch out for these red flags instead, his diet, is he fit, his parents looks is a great indicator, does he exercise, how much does he care about his looks and that applies to any age you date.
She wants to be treated like a child. She wants to be immature. I can take care of myself financially for now and if we stay together longer I imagine us having a similar dynamic as any younger couple where we work together not just me living off of him.
Awesome words you write. We have been dating for 7 weeks. I separated 20 months ago from my wife of 23 years. I never imagined being with a woman 17 years my junior. Not that it was out of the question, it just never entered my mind that I would be with a woman much younger than myself.
We enjoy each other very much. Moreso me than her at the moment I Love her and want to spend what time I have left in this life soley with her. We have Many things in common, one of which, would be Very difficult to replicate.
I have asked her if she has seen anyone else since we met and she told me no. That is reassuring, but I am very paranoid that she may toss me to the curb for another, possibly, younger guy. This inspires me. I met him when I was 21 and he was So reading through most of the replies kind of makes me sad of course. We have so much in common and we have so much fun together.
But I love the life I share with him. Reading through the comments makes me sad again when I think about surein 20 years I will be 43 and he will be Good luck to you and your man. If both of you are clear about the most likely temporary nature of your relationship more power to you.
Most relationships with a large age gap, whether the man or woman is older, tend not to last. Eventually that age difference starts to matter. No one is immune to time. We get slower and less healthy. Things may be all fun and laughs now but when you turn 33 and start to think about the fact that he is 60 you may feel very differently about the relationship. At that point you may decide an attractive and vibrant 40 year old better suits your lifestyle, but your current man may not want to let you go.
Thank you very much. Thanks again. My relationship with kind of been bumy. This comment really bothers me. As if men can only agree or see relevance when their age group or kind is the exact type of men referenced.
They are willing to throw away long loving relationships with women for a night of lust. Men this age will chest and justify it like no other age group.
Risking family life and hurting his partner. You have to beg these men to get std test because they act as if their fragile little ego is so offended by something they should do anyway. They have never dealt with adversity. The slightest hardship will result in a nervous breakdown and the woman will be stuck babying them back to their male privilege health. They are fake cultured. They travel the globe and take Snapchat but know nothing of the culture or people that they visit other than to sound pseudo cultured.
They think experimenting with drugs is a romantic activity. No matter what socioeconomic class. Older men are men. They are decisive. They know how to open doors, let a woman relax, be sensitive when needed and string where it counts. Millennial men are ridiculous and also now highly feminized.
I will pass! Material issues. Faster, easier, sex. I think you have a great point. But I have to add older men are better in bed too. I was 23 and my ex was 36and yes he robbed the cruddle. He wanted to mold me to what he wantedthe only trouble there is, I did grow up. As for daddy issues. My dad was never around at my young age. I seriously had more fun with my ex. And the young shall grow.
Write back when he is That made me roll my eyes a bit. Honestly, why go out with a much older man if you still have to work hard to please him! Surely the pay off of going out with a much older man is that he is working very hard to please you!!
So a 13 year age gap is a daddy issue? He was still in your age range! Alot of men dont even have wives or kids yet at that age or are just settling down He cant even be your daddy cause hes 12 or 13 yrs older than you. On another note most ppl over 45 shouldnt show much of an age difference so make that over Your spouse is still a young adult now so no need to worry about that now. Youre both adults I think its a a little immature for a man over 28 to date a girl under 24 but its nothing that bad hes barely over 35 I know alot of immature guys in their late 20s and 30s that only date and hang around ppl in thier early 20s.
On the latter one of older seeking younger ad 6. And whose doing is that? And yes you can appreciate your dad. Even if it starts out that way, the youngin will grow and realize the folly of youth. Better make sure she has no financial assets to take care of herself. If you are very rich, she will still leave you and collect alimony.
People can find others their own age to appreciate. Unless you are a movie star or famous person, keep dreaming. Appreciation is not a reason to get married. We both care for each other,and we never talk about our age we just live life one day at a time. Does she have the opportunity to become everything she possibly can be in life while in a relationship with you? I am 31 and my guy is 48, I am a nurse and he is a CEO of a company. When we first met I never asked how much he made or cared.
I felt drawn to him and he was so funny and fun. The first night we met I ended up taking care of him because he had got really sick.
He was really embarrassed, the following weekend we met up at a 4 day concert event where our love story began. I usually get along better with people that are older due to my views and values in life. He is better in bed than ANY guy I have ever been with and he loves so passionately.
He is kind, sensitive, smart, caring, and fun! I appreciate this man and love him with all of my heart. I simply feel a deep connection to him and I know he feels the same way. We connect on an emotional level, a physical level, and a mental level. In life that is almost near impossible to find and there are people out there who never get to experience that with someone else.
I was lucky enough to find that someone for me. How well two people work together and understand one another. How that person brings out the best in you and wants the best for you. I could have a guy from many age groups. I go by what is right for me and for my guy. We have ups and downs like anyone else. That is normal. We grow and learn along the way.
First one when I was 21, second by the age I was also married for 15 years. Now I am divorced with a 22 year old and a 14 year old. I date women my age not younger. Being a mature man, I want and need a mature woman. Not some young woman who has daddy issues. I for some reason think couples should stick to there same age category within reason.
Maybe this may sound wrong to most men reading this post, but I think it is wrong for a 40 plus man to date a woman 10 years younger than him. Maybe because I have daughters, I really do not know why I am that way. Maybe some jail time, but you would be real sorry you did not just stick to your own age group.
I like this guy. Sounds like a sensible, decent, common sense man. I am grossed out when men more then 5 or 10 years older then me hit on me, not because I think there is anything wrong with age, but because I think there is something wrong with someone that age trying to sexually interact with someone my age.
I have no respect for a man that would do that. Joeis a respectable man. Shannon, I will be interested to see what you think of that in 20 years when you are likely divorced and trying to date.
Jul 22, † If you're wondering what year-old men want in a woman that's different from younger men, the answer is plenty. It's easy to make assumptions about what men in their 40s . Kemper. I have to disagree with the statement about sex with men over 45 sucks. I'm 51 and want to have sex with my 47 year old wife of 30 years at least 3 to 5 times a week.
It is really not that creepy to date people younger or older. What is creepy is the attitudes people have. People are attracted to who they are attracted to. What this article is about is not attraction, actually. When people decide that others are there to fulfill their needs and expectations with no regard for the fact that the other is a person at all, there is a serious problem. Unfortunately, this is all too common across U. Partner is that a threat you just made? There are a considerable number of older men who are experts at playing your game.
Hi Joe, wish my dad would have done that. I do wish however, that older men would leave the young ones alone. I was left with an 11 year old daughter. A single mom which I did not want to be. I made a terrible mistake and I paid for it.
I think women who have relationships with older men lack self-confidence. That was my problem anyway. Cat, how is it that you made a terrible mistake? Do you not even realize how many other women are out here, wishing they had that?
If the only thing that bothers you is that he died early, you need to stop with that because the same could happen with a younger guy, or much more likely is that he leaves you for a younger woman.
Because some of you make an issue of this, I asked myself a hypothetical question. If I had to choose between an older guy who loved me completely, but would die on me, or a guy my age or younger who would leave me for a younger woman, I will take the older guy, who actually loves me, and take him without hesitation.
I have only one child, a 13 year old daughter. Whatever the age. It is her choice and what will make her happy, will make me happy. My father was 20 years older than than my mother. He traveled until he found a place he could make his home and then to find someone to start a family. My brother, sister and I would never be here if my father gave up because he was too old.
We love life and we are happy to be on this earth. I too want a family because the woman I married lied is not my fault but now is my problem. I want a family with several children just like the family I grew up in. Your problem is dealing with life.
There is bad with the good and if you commit a crime by hitting some one or committing a more serious injury, you are the one who is ill and should pay the price to justice. God Bless you. But would you have problems with your 30 year old daughter marrying Donald Trump - if he chose to do so?
So only 0. I had it a few times and can verify it. And those guys are reading this post and having the laugh of their life. As for love and respect - did they ever exist?
Again, not my words. I for one get discouraged at the number of women who have never had kids and list in their profiles that they want kids.
The right man will be enough for them. Rusty - You have stated on this board that you are done having children. You come to this board to tell us that all American women are b-es and that you are trying to turn other men against American women as well because we are so awful, and now you come here and admit that you lie about something as important as wanting children in order to get what you want from women.
Be honest in your profile, and if some woman who is on the fence about having children sees your profile and thinks that you may be enough for her, then she might respond.
How do you sleep at night telling such a big whopper of a lie online? I thought you were a religious man. I thought I was being a cynic with this thinking, thanks for confirming it is a lie. No more boxes to check, no more trying to decipher a 2-D profile. Just trying to meet the 3D audio-visual man in the real world, and get to know someone face to face.
Trying to decipher the lies from the truth is tricky on or offline, but I do think it is easier IRL. She should not assume that it means he is willing to have children. What site is this.
I would like to see what options it gives for you to describe your thoughts on children, because if the options are so limited that it can give false impressions, then I see his answer as perfect, since it is benign and requires discussion on the topic. JenLee - Match. Also, all OLD sites allow you to write a free form profile, so one could explain that they are done having their own biological children, but would be open to dating a single parent, if that option is not available in the drop down box.
FJ aka SE. Well FJ aka SE, it looks as if you got upset over nothing. I looked at what he said again, and I still was not seeing what you see.
So I looked for more of his posts, and used that to do 10 minutes of research. I found his profile. Not unsure. So I went back and read it again. It seems he is speaking hypothetically what he would do and I feel I understand why after looking on that site. I saw some women in their late 40s also stating yes. Shall I roll my eyes now? So it seems clear to me that he was saying that by doing this, he might get matched with these women, and they might see his profile and strike up a conversation.
I do not see where he intended to trick women. It seems he was discussing a hypothetical situation. And he was saying that he wondered how many people were not being truthful about that question, and yes, I can see it turning into a vicious circle. It appears this is what he was saying.
Then through in that if he did that, there might also be some women who are on the fence, not really sure they want kids, but they feel lonely, need someone to love, and like a teenage girlthink popping out a baby is the answer. Nowhere does he say he intended to trick women.
Show me where you see that. Then I will point you back to the word unsure. I would make sure the man and myself were clear on our expectations and not just something as important as that.
But if I did want something as important as children, I for sure would make the man let me know what he wants. No more sitting on the fence when we start talking a serious relationship. In fact, I am not even going to consider a serious relationship without making sure we are on the same page.
Yes, I know that men and women lie on their dating profiles. You can get off your high horse any time SE. The truth is not always right.
There are many instances where it is common to lie. Do these pants make my butt look big?
Whether to not you put separated or divorced is your choice but you have zero right to judge anyone. I had a friend who put divorced. Why not? She had been separated for 2 years and had not lived together for 5. Long story but there was a legit reason. She was just a couple of months away from being divorced. As soon as she was able to make contact with men, she would let them know that he divorce was not yet final, but this also allowed her a chance to give an explanation.
Often, people assume that you are recently separated. Every man she talked to was fine and admitted that they were glad she put divorced because in their mind, she was closer to being divorced than their idea of what separated is.
One told her that his biggest worry with separated is that they may get back with their husband, or that their wounds are still too fresh. With her, they realized that was not the case. She could barely even remember what it was like living with her husband. And again, I do not read that Rusty was intending to defraud those women.
Had he said yes, that would be entirely different. All a moot point since the profile of his I found does not say unsure, it says no. You can find it too with simply deductive reasoning.
I might make my fake profile I created, into a real profile and send him a message. I did like what he said in his profile. I think the ladies here ran him off.
I will admit that I did not agree with every last thing he wrote, but I did notice he was never aggressive or personally disrespectful, that I saw. But his posts were quite unpopular with some, and I can see why, but I also can see the difference between him posting unpopular opinions, and the personal attacks often made against him because of his opinions.
Maybe he did not offend me because I never felt he was talking to me, since I do not fall into the group he seems to have a problem with. But maybe it is better that he does, because of the personal attacks. The right man will be enough for them? Look at you, deciding what these women want before even meeting them. Wow, just wow. Hahaha womb digger!
That kills me. I am a 30 year old woman and I can tell you from experience all the men that court me are womb diggers. I would love to meet a guy in his mid to late 30s, get married, maybe have kids, have a house, the whole shebang.
But womb digger, omg. I completely relate to that. Carmela 1. Who knows why he stayed 5 years with someone who had such different life goals.
Maybe she waffled in the beginning and said that she might want to have children. And who knows what his relationship history was prior to that. We women get all up in arms, when men write with such contempt about 30 something women longing for a husband and family. My last GF strung me along for 6 years claiming that she wanted kids, but not yet, until finally admitting that she had lied from the beginning.
Even after that it took me another 2 years to break up with her, because I really did love her anyway. Watching him have fun with us made me not so afraid of getting older. My grandparents had been married for over 30 years at that point. My parents are still married to this day. I often used to wonder what my own marriage would be like.
I was kind of an outcast. No worries. I graduated school, and went on to get a good job with a fortune company. I did stand-up at local comedy clubs. But I still found it almost impossible to date.
Am I in a hurry to have kids? You betcha! And despite being a little older, I can still show her a good time, and play catch with our son, or have a tea party with our daughter. They deserve that. You sound like quite a catch. Women are attracted to strong and confident men.
Unfortunately many times this comes along with being an asshole. There are many PUA sites which will give you tips on what women are attracted to.
This is science. In other words there is data to back this up for all the naysayers out there. You might have to go overseas. Eastern Europe, Latin America and the Orient are places to go. Finding love outside the United States is mentioned several times in this thread. He attributes this in large part to the feminism movement in this country, and also cultural differences in general. WIth any luck, you still have 40 to 50 years ahead of you - plenty of time to see your kids grow up.
I agree with you but that is not how our world operates today. People stay in school right up to Get their masters. Give me a break. You are right when they reach 30 they should start looking and stop playing pickup at the bar. Just because they are young, it does not guarantee they will have a healthy child. I also know women in their 40s giving birth for the first time to super healthy and smart babies.
Yes of course older women have higher risks giving birth to healthy babies. However I have read UK medical research report that the older age of men not women were a huge factor on the increase of autism. Go out and meet real people face to face. Strike up conversations while waiting in line for starbucks.
Check out your local events calendar for your city and meet people-real people. Go to pool parties. Go to food events sponsored by the city. Guys hate to ask for advice; however they can gain alot by asking women what turns women off about men. Women can also gain from asking men advice.
I agree. If I had it to do again I would have a child young with someone else young because it is easier on your body and gives you more time for enjoyment on the tail end of life.
Why Do Women in Their 30s Not Want to Date Men in Their 40s?
I had a child with a man younger than me - not intentionally, but being in my late thirties it was 20 something guys who wanted to date me! Worked out great, she is smart and has a very young, energetic dad.
Most men do. I get hit on by the younger crowd too may times to think about. What young woman would want to go out with her dad. Another thing you have nothing in common and your not as viral as a younger man.
You know, you tire easily. I too am grossed out but only by older men your ageThe younger men are much better looking. Brandon - Not being attracted to every 54 year old woman you meet is one thing.
Perhaps that is the case? You feel insecure about your own aging process? Well you dont know how old those guys are exactly, do you? I am 33 and my father is There were plenty of men in that range messaging me. They are dad aged. Our society has gone mad. I never thought much of dating an older woman, but boy since I hit 30yrs old women seem to make a bigger deal about a guy dating younger women.
John my mom and dad were both 21 when they had me.
The year-old women who ARE ready for marriage, unfortunately, are roundly ignored by the men they desire - their year-old peers. These women are youthful and find themselves . Jan 18, † I'm a 30 year old female dating a 40 year old male Is the age difference okay? a 30 year old and a 40 year old are not kids. They are more responsible and mature and know . Should? There are many factors to consider, but if they like each other and get along with each other, why wouldn't they? When I was 39 years, 3 months, and 16 days, a girl I had known for .
Many 37 years old women refuse to date men only years older than them and they go for the much younger ones. Even to the point that a man wanting to date someone 5 years younger leaves women feeling that the only biggest men appreciate about them is their age. Can you blame women for feeling that way? Take a look how men talk about women here? Women deal with so much external pressure about their age that I think are tired. Just like men no longer just want to be an extension of their paychecks or job.
Just find some poor, economically disadvantaged gold digger from a third world country. Oh, and leave any shred of self respect you have left at the border. No offense to this man, but I agree with the women who say that he waited to long. While there are exceptions, most younger women most women in general prefer to be with a man who is within the same age bracket as we are. I know I am one of these women, for several reasons. This is the reason why I want to find someone who is at the same stage of life as me.
Additionally, my own father took off when I was very young and left my mother and I with absolutely nothing. For this reason, I refuse to have a child at this point in my life when I have literally nothing to provide for it. It just seems unfair to have a child in my situation. There are exceptionsit is usually because he has a lot of money and not because of romantic chemistry.
With that being said, I personally am not averse to dating an older man provided I like him, we have chemistry and there is no pressure on my part to give him a child. Oh and for the men who pointed out that childbearing in women over the age of 34 is a risk factor, there are risk factors in children of men over a certain age too. In a few years, this man will be a medical risk factor himself. What do these men say? Do you like kids?
Do you have any nieces or nephews? Do you want kids of your own? Women these days, just like yourself, are incredibly screwed up. So, when do think you would have kids, when you are 45? It makes me sick to see modern families when 45 year olds have their first children. And for all of you, women, a man will naturally want to have kids with you when you are in your most attractive fertile age of yo. Your biological clock says the same. So, when you are 45 chances are higher you will be screwing yourselves, but that does not get you pregnant.
Not you, not Ior anyone else. She has a right to wait until she wants. Not everyone is going to get pregnant. And yes, the rate of infertility goes up for women and men with age. We all know this. I was 38 when I fathered twins during the first month that we attempted to have a child. Our twins have outranked most of their peers since they were in elementary school, and they are among the youngest in their graduating class.
A lot their performance stems from having older parents who took the time to become established before getting married and starting a family. Both of their parents hold graduate degrees, and are self-made professionals. I put myself through college and graduate school, and I did it after serving in uniform on active duty for five years I enlisted straight out of high school.
A little known fact is that there were no post-service G. Men and women who enlisted during that period of time were not eligible for the Vietnam G. Bill or the Montgomery G. Alot of women are tired of men treating our ages like something they are owed and deserve to own to carry on their genes through children. You got lucky. You married a younger woman. Good for you. Your children turned out healthy. But we all know you never would have married someone 8 years older than yourself even though you felt entitled to marry your younger wife.
So just stop defending your male-privilege in settling down with someone significantly younger than you and acting like you are the one that brought more biological worth to the situation. On that note, there are studies out there that say older women specifically, not older fathers, are more likely to have smarter, taller, stronger children. So maybe you should attribute those wonderful kids of yours more to your wife instead of bragging about your accomplishments specifically.
If a man wants kids, he needs to someone at least 36 or younger. And think people over estimate the odds of health in late paternal age. This is a website to help women find love. It is not a website to help men find walking wombs. You should look for the website that helps men find walking wombs that will carry on your DNA instead of trying to force women to view themselves as the walking wombs you see them as.
There are plenty of other websites that certainly share your beliefs about why women exist. But this website is about women finding quality relationships with quality men. This website is about women fviilding better relationships with men.
Feb 14, † I was a 20 year old dating a 28 year old. Now I am a 27 year old happily married to a 35 year old. In our case, it worked out beautifully and things are pretty great with us. I am so, . ALSO READ: Man comes under fire for 'shaming' girlfriend with grooming comment Once upon a time, when the relationship God's were smiling at me, I dated a 40 year old man. The man was . Jan 07, † Because those cologne-wearing, Dolce-upgraded, French-press-drinking, something hunks are a whole different animal. Here's everything you need to know about dating a year-old .
Women are simply people who want love. They are not looking to be a vehicle to your DNA or come to websites designed to help them find love, only to find men like you here you clearly are not interested in helping women find love. Please let us find love. We are not hurting you in anyway by doing so. I just happened to come across this article and comments and ran into your comment. I am 42 year old male, attractive, fit, successful, looking for someone to settle down but seem to find women are emotionally unavailable or not willing to compromise anymore.
I am located in Chicago and very hard to find a good soul. There are so many factors Evan left out. Labeling most woman or most men to a certain category and like saying because a person is black they will do this or if a person is white then they will do that.
People are much more complex and each situation is different. Many are very happy. It comes down to a matter of preference based on many different factors. Round and round is a small spectrum of people when you take into consideration the world. Very interesting, realistic, and thorough analysis Evan!!
There is a huge opportunity being missed here by the online dating companies. That should shake some things up! What huge opportunity? Rewarding women delaying marriage and children looking for Mr. At my income level only single mothers and cast-offs are available and it just got worse and worse as I got older.
So you went overseas to buy yourself a woman. According to a congressional investigation, much longer than the average marriage between Americans. The default culture has not been beneficial to minorities and now it is focusing on men. Because you need men to fight back against an increasingly combative and intrusive Government. Ultimately as quality of life continues to tumble in the United States, women will increasingly look for the bigger and better deal and calls for polygamy will get louder; further impacting men in the lower ranges of the middle class.
By the way, since when should I or other men be more concerned about foreign women taking everything when American women have made an industry of it in the United States? I am 50 and I have women in their 20s wanting to date. I am constantly approached by beautiful attractive women. They could care less about age.
They just want somebody to treat them with respect. I know a friend of mine who married a South American woman. They have 2kids and are happily married for 20 years. Do you read Tartot cards!
30 Year Old Single Women Are Afraid To Tell You This...
Sounds like you need to put those away. Yes that has happened many times here in Canada. Then these men start crying to anybody that listens. Anthony what part of America do you live? I live in Los Angeles if you must know. Also why it important to mention how much BW make? My superior from my previous job is still with her boyfriend of whom is only working part time.
I know for a fact that she makes more than her boyfriend. Most men and women want to be able to filter based on age, each person having their own comfort zone. And yet, some people lie about their age, so you would think that age verification would be demanded.
The perfect example of this syndrome is every man on any dating site that refuses to date a woman his own age or older, yet expects younger women not to screen HIM out. Hypocrites one and all. Nah, then guys would just spam you with questions about how old you are. I think listing your age up front is best - it cuts out the guys who will automatically discount you.
One solution to this is to list your age younger in the search result section but be sure to put your real age right upfront in your profile so no one can miss it. I did that as an experiment just to see what would happen and got nothing but positive responses from it. Again, I was very clear in my profile what my real age was. Usually, once they see that women over 40 can be pretty, they are happy to date us. When I was 33 I dated a 40 year old. I had no problem with this whatsoever, but at first it seemed like a bit of a novelty.
In this case, however, I think the failure to find dates may be a function of what this 42 year old is looking for. But you have to find the right person to have this happen, and, as we all know, that gets increasingly difficult with age, self-awareness, and a shrinking pool of date material.
I think some of us choose to remain single on a subconscious level to avoid this whole subject. Anthony, I think you can only speak for yourself.
I know for a fact that most very eligible men in their 40s do not want children. Most men in their 40s, especially the most eligible ones, tend to already have children or they do not want children. Think of the life two people past their mids can share when they remove the burden of having kids. And most of our peers have children old enough to leave at home by themselves, or their children have moved out and moved on with their own lives, so they are free to take a cruise to the Bahamas on a whim, or hop on a plane to Europe, or just pop out to a movie and romantic dinner.
Why would a woman in her later 30s or early 40s want to give that up to pop a baby out for some egotistical male who thinks the world just has to have his genes passed on into the next generation? Jennalee-Everyone is entitled there or desires out of the other. You can fall in love with someone without seeing them as a sperm donor or egg carrier. Heck, Mel Gibson at 60, just got his 26 year girlfriend pregnant.
Whether it has defects, remains to be seen. JennLee is totally right. Most men in their 40s who are dating are divorced, already have kids and do NOT want more. Heather is probably the ideal woman for the vast majority of middle aged men. My husband and I dated 2 years and it took a year to plan our wedding. So 3 years seems reasonable. Well now with technology women can freeze thier eggs and have up to 50yrs old to have kids!!! So you dont have to rush. I did. There is wonderful information on Webmd about male fertility.
Yet we still exclusively focus on women. When the children are healthy, everyone acts like it was all because of the Dad. I am not sure of this blog site allows for other links to be posted. I am not totally sure that "I'm in my late late 20's and I simply cannot imagine dating a 20 year old under ANY circumstances" is Seems unnecessarily limiting?
Late 20s and 20 may feel far apart but that will seem silly when at 30 and late 30s. But that's not the question. So, yeah, your sister's fine. I don't think "I am pretty sure if this guy were 40 a lot more people would have felt the same apprehension" is true.
I don't think the average grown-up takes a lot of interest in the age of another grown-up's partner, and these things are just not outrageous, wrong, or otherwise bothersome or unsettling for most people. Depends on the guy. I dated a guy 8 years older than me at that age, and he was great. No problems there.
On the other hand, after dating me he swore he'd never date younger again. Once I hit his age, I was all, "Why the fuck did he date a year-old? As long as he follows Dan Savage's campsite rule and all that. I don't think this has to be a big deal, assuming the following: - the work situation isn't one where he's directly supervising her - they're on the same page about what they want out of life over the next few years and she isn't going to compromise her own interests and ambitions for someone who is in a huge rush to settle down These things could be an issue at any age, of course.
Every couple is different though, and it depends more on the individuals' maturity levels than anything else. I was 28 when I started dating my then 58 year old boyfriend three years ago. We've been married since last November. It's amazing, and none of anyone's business. For what it's worth, when I started dating Mr. Ipsum I was 23 and he was My parents were concerned about the age difference, but they didn't really have a say in the matter, and he eventually won them over anyway.
He admits now that he himself was a bit concerned about the age difference. But he soon found out that I was, in his words "not some silly little girl" as in, I didn't act immature and that we had a lot in common. In fact, during our first year together, he once made the comment that I was "23 going on 40" so I think these things are more of an issue of compatibility than chronological age.
To expand jenfullmon's appeal to Savage's campsite rule about age-gap relationships: he should leave her in better shape than he found her. It's also normal. There's nothing abnormal about wanting to date someone who in your exact age cohort. My sister-in-law is 9 years older than The Brother, and his ex-wife and ex-long-time-girlfriend were similarly older. Dating with an age gap works great for some people, not so great for other people. I think there can be issues when people are dating people because of a big age gap.
Especially when the younger party is looking to work out issues with a parent, or when the older party wants to use their age and experience to bully or control younger partners. But those red flags turn up in the relationship dynamics, not in the simple difference in age.
Speaking from personal experience - just don't go there. They will always be in two different places in their lives, no matter how mature one or the other might be. I also do not think the age thing is a big deal in and of itself.
However it sounds from your post like you haven't actually met this fellow. The best way to ease your mind would be to spend time with them both and see how they interact.
There can be subtle signs that a less experienced person may not pick up on when assessing someone- or a person that's all hopped up on lovey feelings wouldn't notice. I mean you don't have to be formal about it, just a getting to know the new guy get together. I think this is totally sibling territory, I mean it may not be your business, but you can still butt in a little, with a lot of care. I don't think the age difference itself is a problem.
However, a year-old who was a virgin living with her parents and going to school is in a hugely different place than most year-olds. Keeping it secret from parents and employers may make it seem more mysterious and appealing than it would be if they were able to have a "normal" relationship.
This is said with some experience - I was 18 and living on my own; he was 31, divorced with two kids. I think at the time we may have been equals in maturity but then I grew up.
However, everyone is different. I don't see any huge red flags but think there's maybe an orange one for caution. A thought for your sister. I tend to date older people, so far up to the 10 year age gap your sister is experiencing when I was 18, he was 24; now I am 24 and she is When it doesn't matter is when you and your partner don't talk or worry about it.
If it comes up between the two of you, it's going to be a problem-if it's coming up, one party is having a problem respecting another because of age, or is uncomfortable because of it, or whatever. Age was a much bigger issue in my 6-year-gap relationship than it is in my current year-gap relationship. Who knows whether these things will work out years is a lot in terms of life stage, when to settle down, etc. But your sister sounds prepared for that. I'd just add that if he thinks it's a big deal, or she thinks it's a big deal, thats probably an orange flag.
Not a red flag Being a big sister, I'm concerned with all of my little sister's relationships so I'd say there's cause for a little concern, but in the end it's her choice. I dated a guy fourteen years older than myself, and when anyone - sister, friend, parent - told me he was too old for me I'd just push back against it and their ultimately well-founded concerns went in one ear and out the other.
If she's handling it well, great! If she isn't or if he turns out to do something really wrong then just listen to her and keep doing what you're doing - listen to her and give the best advice you can. I'll second what equivocator said - if one or both of them are already concerned about the age gap, they should both probably try to slow down a bit and deal with it before going any further.
Twenty is a little young to be taking on a serious relationship with someone that has, in all likelihood, already gone through the highs and lows of sexual relationships, but age itself isn't a big concern at all when compared to other issues that you'll get by having a serious relationship with someone else regardless of any age difference; personality clashes, irreconcilable differences of opinion and so on.
Almost all my relationships have had this kind of age gap or bigger and I'm fine. There is one downside I can think of that's worth being aware of: If you're a woman dating a much older guy, you can easily end up in a very slightly parent-child-like dynamic, where he makes more decisions after all, he has much more life experience! If you were a young person dating someone of the same age, it would be much easier to just both go out discovering the world together and working out how to get along.
I think anyone young in a relationship with an age difference like this needs to be particularly careful to stand up for themselves, to be an equal partner in decision-making, and to make sure to spend plenty of time around other adults so that they get a balanced view of how different people handle life. Opinions from a content single: I used to be quite concerned over the age difference, however my views have changed.
I'd think more about compatibility, life goals, ability to communicate as more important cts of any relationship. The thing with 20 - 30 is not so much the age gap as the experience gap. It's much, much bigger than later twenty-year gaps.
30 year old dating 40 year old
For example, a year old with a year old is not going to seem such a big deal. It can work, though. My mother married when she was 19 and my dad was That one lasted 55 years, until his death in Not saying they were a super match they weren'tbut they made it.
Bottom line: she should be careful and not rush into marriage, but it's her call. Unless the guy is a choad, it'll probably be fine. Something to think about: Nietzsche commented that both men and women would benefit from having romantic relationships with much older members of the opposite sex, at least once in their youth.
A lot happens in 10 years. She hasn't seen the world, he probably has. My biggest concern would be that he won't want to do what she wants to do since he has done it already.
I personally don't know how a 30 year old would want to date a 20 year old. My youngest sister was married in August Her husband is 14 years older than she is. My younger sister was married in August Her husband is 7 years older than she is.
Both are happy. The relationships are healthy. And there is no strange life experience power-balance of any kind. The mark of a good relationship is how well does he treat her? How well does she treat him? And are they both happy? I won't say age is irrelevant, but as I told my mom when she first had doubts about my younger sister dating a man 7 years older than she and then my youngest sister dating a man 14 years older than she, if age is the only concern or issue, then it's not much of an issue.
Eep, Mefi hates brackets. Creepy math works like this, where X is the older individual and Y is the younger. An 18 year old may date as low as a 16 year old. They may not date a 15 year old. A 50 year old may date as young as a 32 year old, anything less is creepy.
Some circles debate that the 7 should be a 5. However, This means that a 16 year old may date a 13 year old, and I'm just not OK with that.
The age issue doesn't make me blink. The fact that they work together has the potential for disaster. There are really three possibilities. I speak from experience. I think the age difference is fine. If I were your sister, the main thing I'd be concerned about is not letting the relationship stand in for my own process of growing up and being more independent. I definitely understand not being able to afford a place on her own, which is why I, and most people I know, had roommates until we were around 25 or so.
So if she considers living with your parents restrictive and harmful, or even if she'd just like some experience at managing her own bills, groceries, etc. Because if it's a relationship that works out in the long term, she might learn some valuable things from not going right from living with your parents to living with a boyfriend. She'd have a lot of support from friends and roommates who are learning all this stuff at the same time.
Whereas if she waits and the relationship doesn't work out, then it will all seem a lot scarier when it seems like everyone else her age has already had those experiences. Basically, there's no way to know at 20 if you'll still be with the same person at It may very well work out, but there's no harm in stretching yourself and becoming as independent as possible while continuing the relationship.
The age difference is the least of your worries, if it is a worry at all. My husband is 16 years older than I am and we're as well matched as two peas in a pod. I was 33 and he was 47 when entering the relationship, so, perhaps, more mature, but it was my first real relationship. We've been together over 11 years and there's no end in sight. My family has a lot of these age gaps in it; the longest is 30 years. Not one relationship has ended except for the passing of a partner.
So, I may be biased. The concerns I would have are the job and the parents. The job depends on the company's rules about employees having relationships with co-employees. Some are fine as long as one person is not the supervisor direct or not of the other.
Other companies don't allow for it at all. And as for your sister still living at home - it's her parents house and she should live by their rules. If she wants to come out to her parents about her relationship, she will have to be prepared for the consequences.
As a variant, yes25.01.2020|Reply