Simply dating someone 20 years older than you you
Posted in Dating
Are you dating an older fellow or thinking about dipping your toes into that more mature water? Well, my dears, you've come to the right place. I'm dating an older man, you know. Oh yes, it's quite thrilling. I'm an expert on the topic. Okay, fine, J is only four years my senior.
He is now 63 and retired 9 years ago Had someone shared with me the serious differences that come with committing to an older man I would have taken a closer look. At 37 and he 52 the sex was amazing, the understanding that seemed to be perfect for my life was exactly what I was looking for but the other experiences he'd had were well beyond what I could and still can not comprehend.
What Are the Benefits and Challenges of Dating Older Men?
He lost his mother in the 's, I still have my mother. This is a issue between us because of his grief issues. I've always loved family and holiday time he can take it or leave it and is a scrugge about it and its gotten worse over the years. There were questioned unanswered due to his mother's passing and he carries a mix of emotions. When he retired he'd worked long enough to get max for retirement but truth is I've grown into a woman that wants so much more and he does not have the get up that he brags about of his yester year.
Although I love him, I've grown annoyed with him.
I still work fulltime, we are empty nesters but he wants to be somewhat treated like the housewife with benefits Some may say wow that's selfish and that's ok I'm just to young and unkept to feel anything but unappreciated when I know he can return to work.
That's just the short, we both entered in to marriage with a set of our own children but his grown children have still not accepted me and mine have welcomed him as dad. There are so many little things. Been there still doing that but wish I hadn't give my youth to an older man. Now its my bag. I am 24 and am dating a man of 42years and the man has wife with three children but the wife did not understand the husband as I do. Here is a quick way to size up your future: add about thirty years to HIS age and then add about thirty years to your age.
How you feel about that age difference will be even more multiplied then. Cos I find my self one. I've been there. Hey ho. I was 28 and he was Wealthy handsome and we had sensational amazing sex.
I was besotted, and couldn't get enough of him. I didn't see it as marriage, just a huge fling, as we all know that in that scenario the bubble does burst, and it did. After 15 months of almost sex every day I caught him out with a real tart in a pub. He was feeling her bum and they were clearly an item. I was sick to the hilt.
I hated him and from there I wanted him out of my life. I never ever dated an older guy after that. Thinking back it was just for good hot sex. I easily understand him but I feel like I also have to act mature, because he says that he is not a boy, he is a man and he expects me to be a woman, not a little girl. I am 24 and he is 40 we have been together for 2 years he makes me very happy,he is always supporting me and guiding me and yes helping me financially,sexually he satisfies me always and he makes sure that i am satisfied,he makes time for me I love him and i would say he loves me too,because no man has shown me love n care like has, the only problem is that he is my mothers age,engaged and I sometimes feel like he is controlling and he does not want me to be with other people.
I am 40, he will be 55 next week.
May 01, Here, a year-old woman explains what it's really like dating an older man nearly 15 years her senior-and lays out the good and bad parts of Author: Jasmin Perez.
I would say everything is great! He has the knowledge of self and maturity to handle most situations we come across.
Jul 04, At 15 years old, I did not imagine my future husband was presently married and raising children of his own. But I fell in love with a man much older than me, and I couldn't not be with him. He was willing to have children again, and I was willing to take on the risks of having children with someone already in their 50s. Feb 05, I have a friend who's been married to someone for more than a decade who is 20 years older than her. He's old and sick now, and she Author: Sophia Glass. Dec 05, First of all, if you are dating someone or married to someone that is 15 yrs. or less older than you are, you probably have no business chiming in because I would hardly consider that a problem. For couples who are 15 yrs or less apart no one is going to be looking at you and saying or wondering why you two decided to be together.
The only downfall we have is the intimacy part of it all - which is very important. But we adore each other so we do what we can to satisfy each other and feel connection - it doesn't always have to be traditional sex. I'm 24 years old and I'm dating an older man who is 49 years. He was once married and they divorced we have no problems we are cool.
He love me, we communicate and he takes care of my needs. I have dated an older man ,it was terrible depressing, i hated evdry day being around him ,he looked like my father ,it was sasasad i always tell my daugther never ever date old man, they say aj ,t nothing but a number try livong with someone old its like living with dad sick.
One important thing is that the girl needs to know if she wants kids or not. I am a 63 year old man, divorced for past 15 years. My career, not necessarily chosen, was driving trucks long haul for 20 years while paying child support and other living expenses.
At the time of my divorce which I did not want, my x took a much better paying job and wanted nothing more to do with me because of some emotional issues such as anger for having to be away from my family so much and for the divorce, I no longer have these anger issues.
I also gave my share of the house to my x so my kids would have a place to call home, My x remarried 3 years after the divorce to a man 10 years her age but was still working making a great wage at the same company where she worked.
I am now semi retired and would like very much to meet a younger lady and become married once again. I recently met such a very nice lady, christian lady as I am a christian man, but yes, she is 30 years younger than myself.
Her father is a pastor he and I have talked and he told me that he would encourage his daughter to marry me and she is a missionary but I am not convinced that she really wants to pursue this field as her siblings are all married and raising families.
Dating someone 20 years older than you
I am just wondering, am I just daydreaming about the possibility of marriage or should I patiently wait for the right one to come into my life? I am 37 and this guy is 61, we met because his dad lived in the senior community where i work.
The dad died two weeks ago and tried to show support most of the time. He is very sweet and hugs me a lot, but the last time he did, he told me he loves me while hugging and I replied me too.
But I left to keep doing my work. This left me really confused because I feel a lot of attraction to him. Do you think he is just thankful for the support? Or he likes me? More crap Young women up to say about 24 should not be interested in or desire anything more from an older men but sex and fun.
A purely sexual relationship. Interesting how you make the most apparent age difference example 27 and The time where both are looking at a fast approaching mile stones. Her turning 30 soon and entering her last few years of healthy childbearing years and him well turning Everyone knows that when a woman is that close to 30 she is engaging desperate mode, desperate for a provider for the children she wants and they need to arrive soon.
Pointing out beautiful YOUNG women that older men want never went after a career where she makes her own money since she has gotten everything she ever wanted money wise given to her in payment for her company. Everyone also knows that the usual younger women that men over 45 get with are usually 18 to not much older than Once a girl hits that 25ish age she has lost her little girl looks and thats really what men want.
Many thanks staciejaxx for such a unique perspective on this topic, which is invaluable. You are right, it is far more important to be a relationship where the need to communicate is well-served, than to be in a relationship where other needs dominate.
At the same time, let's acknowledge that other needs are as relevant, if not more. A balance of needs makes a relationship successful. Thank you once again. I learned something new from you today. I have to chime in here because I could not honestly take some of the comments on here seriously. However, there were a few who actually held weight and substance. The comments that I took seriously were the ones in which realistically depicted what could possibly happen if I were to marry someone considerably older than I am.
First of all, if you are dating someone or married to someone that is 15 yrs. For couples who are 15 yrs or less apart no one is going to be looking at you and saying or wondering why you two decided to be together. I don't think by looking at two people with such an age gap one would be able to decipher the fact that a there is an age gap or b that it is even consequential to the relationship.
Especially, if you are a female in your twenties and he is in his thirties. If anything, you as the female would enjoy so many benefits from dating or being married to someone that much older as opposed to being 30 yrs. I was equally not impressed or moved by the comments in which twenty year old females spoke about being with men who were 55 yrs.
A man in his 40's and possibly up to the age of is still active and can remain verile if he has remained in relatively good health. Of course, this might not be the case for all men but tends to generally be true for most men. What some young women who are in their 20's fail to realize is that if they are dating a man who is yrs. So pretty much what you see is what you get. However, we can honestly say that a woman who is in her twenties will most certainly experience many things in her life for the next 20 yrs.
These experiences may or may not help determine whether or not your relationship with an older man is going to be successful or not. It is unfair for "you" as a young lady to deprive yourself of these experiences however colorful these experiences may be just so you can settle into a comfortable life of being taken care of.
Not all women who marry older men want to be taken care of but if this is your only motivation then you have "bigger fish to fry". Eventually, the universe will show you just how big. Especially, if you are in your twenties. Allow this decade to be about you learning what your likes and dislikes are without being necessarily told what they are by someone who thinks they know what your likes and dislikes are simply because they are older than you.
Of course, not every man that is substantially older than his woman wants to control her. However, as another commenter pointed out there is something to be said about a man who is dating someone yrs.
Why is he unable to work things out with someone closer to his age? If he is married and seeing you why hasn't he gotten a divorce yet? If you are truly the love of his life why hasn't he committed himself to establishing a healthy relationship with you?
These are all questions I had to ask myself when I was faced with a similar situation.
Jan 06, "I am dating someone who is close to 20 years older than me and one major perk, if I'm being honest, is that he has money. It's not new money (or young money) where he wants to go out and blow. May 24, I have. When I was 27, I met a woman at a nudist park in Florida. We dated for several months, and the sex was terrific. She did some things with lemon-scented oil that I was never able to duplicate. A couple of years later she came to visit me in. Mar 29, The DOs and DON'Ts of Dating an Older Man Are you dating an older fellow or thinking about dipping your toes into that more mature water? Author: Melissa Melms.
So please, don't think I am on here to be bitter or discourage you from living your best life. If anything, I want you to live your best life knowing you are getting what you rightfully deserve. I am in my late thirties seeing a man in his early fifties. I don't see this as a big deal because I have lived life and experienced things.
I have dated men ten years younger than myself. While they have been fun they weren't necessarily marriage material. I would never expect that from a man who is still in his twenties. This is why I allowed the relationship to be about having a good time and only this. I am also, able to support myself so I don't need to date any man whether younger or older for his money.
I have an 18 yr. There will be plenty of time to settle down with whomever you want to with later but these yrs. As far as the bit about dating an older man The age will have nothing to do with the level of intimacy you share after the age of You should also, both be able to take care of each other mutually. In other words don't allow yourself to become somebody's caregiver off the bat.
The situation differs if you have been with someone for sometime and they eventually end up becoming sick where you have to take care of them exclusively. Versus, you being in your twenties and dating someone who is in their fifties or older knowing eventually you will have to take care of this person. You have to honestly ask yourself is this something you want to be doing in your forties and fifties. Think about it when your forty, that person who you found attractive, sexy and virile in your twenties will be in their 60's to 80's if they were 20 to 40 yrs.
Will it really be as attractive as it seems right now as you get older. My parents are ten years apart. All my mother wants to do right now in her late sixties is travel while facing the reality that she has to be a caregiver to my dad in his late seventies who doesn't want to go anywhere. They only have a ten year age gap.
Can you imagine the couples who have an age gap of 20 or more years. Furthermore, women tend to outlive men. These are all things I think about in my own relationship. For those, women in their twenties, as some other commenters pointed out I would really like to hear from women who are with men yrs.
Perhaps creating a family as well. Particularly, those women who are now over the age of 45 and their men are 60 and older. These are the women who I would like to chime in because this is where the age difference really does make a difference. This article doesn't match my experience, or that of my Wife. I guess we must be an acception to the rule here. We are 11 years in difference and I will tell you It doesn't really matter. What matters is how you feel about eachother.
Love doesn't discriminate, only people with hate in their hearts do, and the majority of those relationships are doomed to fail from the start. We've been married for nearly 18 years, have 3 children, 1 of which is only 5 years old, and all perfectly healthy. Her parents were very accepting of the relationship because we didn't just jump in the deep end.
We took our time getting there, and it took a lot of work. The struggles in life that we experienced together, not only strengthened our love for eachother, but also broadened my relationship with her parents, and her with mine. There isn't a woman on this planet that could take me away from her, and she knows it.
At my age, I don't have time to go to bars, go out with the homies, or hang out at nightclubs chasing women. I'm too tired to deal with another woman's drama. I just want to come home after work and spend time with my wife and children.
I'm very content with that. Maybe I'm just a simple man. I just think I got lucky, and found the perfect woman for me. He lost his wife 3 years ago. I enjoy being with him but the problem is he sexing me very much and make sure that his dick gets in right through I feel like I need to say something since my experiences are rather far different than anyone here. My parents married when they are in their 30s. My mom was in her late 30s when I was born and my dad just turned 39 two days before I was born.
From a young age, their company became mine. Their interests became mine. As I grew older, it exponentially expanded. I currently am 2 days short of being I am a little bit crazy about a man who is precisely 40 years my senior. Before you judge me, I would like to say I have a steady career, studying for a licence exam and writing my Master's thesis proposal.
I earned my keep since I was I am financially independent, highly skilled and domesticated. I stay with my mom to help her out which I think is far better than renting space and worrying how my mom can get by. I do not need anyone's money.
I have had my Bachelor's degree in Psychology since I was Why do I like older men? Well, I am a weirdo. I am lonely despite having a healthy circle of friends and family.
My social life is not a problem. I was a strong Mensa candidate when I was I am trying out next year I never felt it was right for my mom to pay for the exam and membership I am a bit in the odd bunch because my IQ shot farther than most. To many, this sounds like bragging but to those who can understand, this means a lifetime of being misunderstood and ridiculed by people who can't follow your train of thought or because you are interested in theater when everyone your age is raving about a new Drake album.
I am far beyond my years, I have little in common with people my age. Though I am aware of their interests and can be well versed, no one can 'get' me. I have not a single friend of my age who can. This all changed when I had a boyfriend who was 58 and I was The conversations were endless, insightful and nourishing.
It was like a breath of fresh air. He has never met anyone else like me and I have never met anyone else like him, though half of my social circle are about his age. Unfortunately, he lied to me about being divorced.
My values and principles matter more to me than my own emotions so I left. It was a shame to let go of someone you are incredibly compatible with. Then came my ex-fiance a year after.
I was 19 and he was He understood who I am, what I want to be and what I know. It's rare for me to find someone like this, you see. He was wise and so was I. I lived life too fast living in a poor nation and for a few years, being in the poorest of the poor. Anyway, I digress. I can say, being with him is one of the best moments of my life for which I am grateful though the bitter end came when he, rather uncharacteristically, sought casual relationships outside of ours and without my knowledge.
Again, I left. Then came my new love affair. Far more experienced than I will ever be but the common goals and interests are far too many to even mention in this little comment box. Generally, he wants a tender, loving woman and I want a smart, gentle man. The idea of stability and security is indeed incredibly appealing to me as I believe the best of my years are better spent in intellectual endeavours or boosting my career or helping my family.
I do not feel financially insecure or unstable. I am referring to stability and security relationship wise. I do not want to spend my 20s playing dating games, having casual sex or being in relationships with no goals.
I want to be a Clinical Psychologist by 26 and a Doctorate by 30s.
I do not want to follow the norm of settling down only when you are too old. I want to be enjoying the fruits of my labor with the one I love in my 30s or 40s. The reasons in here have very little meaning to me except for the part about my father.
I think of my dad as the best man in the bunch. I think of my parents' marriage as the ideal standard. They never shouted or hurt each other and loved each other til death did my father part. They are my rolemodels. Age is an incredibly important factor for me because I find the appeal of intelligence, wisdom, experience and maturity attractive.
This is the basis of my attraction, not socioeconomic, psychological or physiological standards. I hope I made my point and myself clear. I am, however, rare. That much I know so I understand being often unrepresented. Don't know where to put my finger, but I'm crazy in love with the middle-aged man.
I'm started to doubt myself whether there is something wrong with me neurologically. I did date guys my age 30ish ; unfortunately, we didn't click. No connection. However, I'm pretty sure I'm genuine with this man I'm crazy about.
Nov 22, I'm 23, and I'm very quickly falling for a guy who is 20 years older than me. We used to work together; he held the same job as my boss, but I was never his direct report. Aug 17, When I was 25, I spent a year dating a man 20 years older than me. Before the Older Man, I'd never been in a relationship with someone of a significantly different age-older or younger-but I Author: Karley Sciortino. Oct 13, I always seem to date guys between 10 to 20 years older than me, and from my relationships comes some of the best memories and experiences. "He's too old for you! Why would you date Author: Kateri Wozny.
I don't need him financially. I feel good around him. But, the sad truth, I'm scared that I may be get hurt someday.
Would you date a person who is 20 years older than you!?
My feelings, for the first time, have been in the rollercoaster whether I take him seriously for a commitment if he will propose for it. I don't know.
Time will tell what's waiting for both of us, but I won't force a serious relationship. And I'm also not seeing someone else but him. I am 26 now, I am dating a man 12 years older then me. We get along fine, we both dont have kids. The only problem I am having is the lack of support.
I will do and go anywhere with him as long as hes happy. I enjoy spending time with him and being involved with all of his hobbies. However I feel when I ask him to do somthing with me, somthing I want to do, somthing always seems to come up where he can't or wont go.
The things I want to do are like work on my car or something of that nature. If its a outing I invite him out to, I usually find myself alone.
I am starting to figure this isn't so much of a age gap but a habbit. That partner in crime I thought he was is starting to seem lacking. I'm 34 yrs and my man is 64 yrs the age gap is I have 2 kids outside before I met him and he's got 1 child. He's a very busy man every time when he gets home he's tired which I do understand.
He took me to school bought me a car. He makes me feel comfortable in my stretch marks my wrinkled tummy. Hes understanding we've got good communication. OMG he's so amazing. We have great Sex. I tell you there's a huge difference in dating younger boys and older man.
With older man it's so sweet no complications. It's Wooooow. I'm 27 years old my son's dad is 46 yrs old i met him when i was 22 yrs old. He told me he was divorce with 2 kids he was living alone the kids used to come once in the while.
There's a married woman who used to take care of the kids and he said that woman was his best friend after 2 years i discovered that he was sleeping with the woman for the past 8 yrs and that woman was playing the role of a sister in law cooking sometimes for us i saw her naked pictures ob his phone and other pictures of her lying on our bed when i traveled out to Egypt.
It breaks my heart into pieces before that I've tried to get married twice but each time we're planning for that something must happened. I love kisses but he doesn't kiss and i never cheated on him for that at times goes i stop loving him each time i see him he's disgusting me. I couldn't tell him i don't love him anymore because he was taking care of my needs and wanted to sponsor my musical career above that i didnt want my son to grow up like me without a father.
I rejected lot of marriage proposal just because i thought no man can't love my son like his father. I moved to South Africa 2 years ago and i left him in UK we've been living separate for the past 2 years he came 2 times a year. Last time he came i couldn't pretend anymore i told him i don't love him anymore and I'm not interested in any marriage with him he treathen to block my passport, to harm meetc My family started pressuring me that i should forgive and let go for my future is guaranty with him he promised to do anything if i accept him back.
I don't love him anymore and i can't marry for money i definitely know that i won't be satisfied sexually and i would be having sex out but i don't want that kind of marriage I'm also thinking about my son because he needs medical attention everytime he's an albino.
What should I do? There's someone 9 years older than me single who has been there for the past 4 months he wants to settle and want me to have kids before doing the music. I'm confused please help me. I am a 33 year old female who has been with a man 18 years my senior for over 10 years. We have been married for 8 years out of the I will say there are a lot of hurdles when it comes to age gap relationships and him and I have been through some questionable times but we love each other very much and talk about everything.
There is nothing we won't do for each other. He was married before, thankfully with. We now have two healthy children together and he is an amazing father at his age. Does more than I see most fathers do at younger ages. Maybe we are a lucky couple but we are proof that age gaps can work.
As far as health issues. I have had more than him, so him being older isnt a sure fine way he will have more. Anyway, we live happily together with our family, and enjoying our life. If you love each other, that's all that matters.
My first husband was 15 years older than I, I remarried four years after he died, my husband now is 20 years older. Does any man really like to be called your Sexy Silver Fox? Although, I call J "Kid" in this super-cute, ironic way. I think he likes it. DON'T always assume the guy is just in it to "hit it and quit it".
Yes, there are guys who want to date you simply because you're young, fresh meat, but that doesn't mean all older men are just looking for a good time or notch on their belt.
DO be yourself. Whether that's a mature twenty-something, an immature thirty-something, or a quirky lady living with three dudes like Jess. Or a year-old girl from New Jersey who happens to blog about her relationship. You know. During one scene, Nick who else has a major crush on him? But, seriously, if they ever do a reunion tour J is SO coming with me. DO treat the relationship the same as you would with a guy your own age.
There's already enough pressure when it comes to dating, why add more stress and think about the age thing if you really like this dude? Even though this guy and I were 25 years apart, we had a lot in common. We worked in the same profession, had similar interests, and shared common philosophical views. We got along swimmingly in the beginning. I didn't know then that our age gap would define the relationship.
Age comes with wisdom. This guy was confident, successful, and comfortable with himself: a significant departure from the insecure, possessive somethings I had dated. So what if he was wrinkly, in all the places you might expect? But our chemistry was everything. I was a fantasy for my older man There was zero jealousy on both sides, and I never saw him check out another woman - due to him being satisfied, of course, but also him being well-seasoned in how to respect the opposite sex.
The Olsen twins both have boyfriends 20 years their senior. If Mary Kate or Ashley was approachable and not icy fashion prodigies, I would love to ask how they make it work.
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