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INTJ relationships are best known for having an overture of evolution. According to the Myers-Briggs profile, the INTJ personality is comprised of introverted, intuitive, thinking, and judging traits. A relationship with this quiet but self-sure individual can be very enlightening to the participants as a couple as well as on an individual level. Even if an INTJ relationship does not work out, both individuals usually walk away having benefited from the experience. INTJ is more than just a thinker or idea factory.

This is especially true with romantic relationships, as INTJ needs to be able to have the freedom to seek out and mull over new concepts. This type of person has a knack for seeing the true value of an idea or process and will eagerly pursue it, even if no one else supports the endeavor. In a social setting, this individual may come across as standoffish because they spend so much time playing around in the world inside their mind.

They have no fear of confrontation and therefore can cross over into judgmental territory if they feel that someone is wasting time. Bear in mind that INTJ is generally open-minded to the abstract, but they will not hesitate to shoot down an idea or opinion that seems illogical, that is, based primarily on emotional support. The INTJ has little patience for individuals who exhibit behavior that they feel is irrational, such as an explosion of anger or bursting into tears unless seriously provoked.

INTJs are not adept at reading the emotions of others or at conveying their own emotions. In social settings, this behavior might seem cold, especially if the INTJ fails to recognize when bluntness may be inappropriate. INTJ relationships are slow to start, usually because this personality is romantically awkward.

This character is just as interested in entering a relationship as other personality types but they tend to lack the drive to initiate a relationship. Ever the planner, this individual will have a clear idea of what type of person they are looking for before they even step onto the proverbial field. This air of self-assurance can be extremely attractive to a potential mate and will help to instigate a relationship.

Once in a relationship, INTJ takes the commitment very seriously and will work hard to ensure that the relationship has a good chance of working out. More than anything, INTJ wants a healthy relationship in which they and their partner are comfortable and content.

opinion useful only

It is no secret that INTJ has a difficult time expressing emotions, but in actuality they can feel very strongly about a companion. The introverted intuition factor can prevent this individual from sharing personal information even with a trusted partner. The extraverted intuition factor will play a major role in bringing a sense of balance to the relationship.

I feel less bad now for dropping nice girls after first Because maybe the next one is the one that clicks with no doubt or uncertainty.

Although most of the things mentioned in this article touch upon genuine difficulties of INTJ's, it's equally important to point out that a significant subset of INTJ's don't experience this.

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A lot has been written about the ostensibly traumatic experiences of being an INTJ woman in the dating world. A distinction exists between the nature of people's dating experiences: in the realm of attraction, one tends to be a "generalist" or a "specialist. As an INTJ female, most of my traits - be these strengths or weaknesses - have been extremely different from those of the majority of women.

The vast majority of men like these with whom I've interacted throughout life have at some point ended up romantically interested in me, and this whole notion of INTJ females having so much trouble with dating hasn't been confirmed by my actual experiences. Omg great article!


Fellow INTJ female. Loved the sarcasm. It's funny how many women INTJ's complain, but have options to decide upon, and can enter into fulfilling relations. I think that's because women no matter what type they are, will always have a steady stream of suitors, so it isn't as difficult to find a mate.

INTJ women are on the other hand pursued, and that makes the dating world a hell of a lot simpler for them. Am I the only one that believes that we have really strong feelings actually and they are deep inside, protected and not on the surface for everyone to see.

I don't believe in someone's feelings if they arise after just meeting a few times. It takes time to know someone for real, the depths, the different sides of a person. And it's not that I can't date, I know how to be someone's dreamgirl, I just can't as I would lose respect for myself. Also I don't want to waste my time on some superficial shit, I want real raw loyalty.

Know we are together. I don't want to tell someone what I feel for them. I want that person in my life who can read me like my thoughts are naked.

Unable to hide. That's what thrills me. You can say we are judging but if the judgement is usually right, I think we are good at reading people. It's patterns and if it is considered genius when it comes to other things then why is t judging when it comes to human beings.

I used to watch people during a job and tell a whole story about someone by looking at their shoes.

remarkable, very

I still do sometimes. So yeah if a guy comes up to me and opens his mouth to speak, and the words fit the mold and I realize I was even soft on him, because I'm sweet like that, I keep some space for you to change what I see, then I can't. I just goddamn can't waste my time. Especially when they fucking touch you on the arm or shoulder and you just cringe For an INTJ, everything can be black and white.

You're either a good match or you're not. And once you've established that, you're always right and if a partner needs encouragement, then you're not a good match. Thankfully, we're smart enough to realize that's probably not how the world works.

Feelers need to feel good about the relationship, and that won't happen if INTJs get locked in our roles as cold, somewhat distant logicians who expect a love "set up" to just run smoothly because we invested so much on the front end. Relationships with feelers need constant maintenance and spontaneity. The article is true. It would take time for me to choose a loved one or romantic partner.

Comments were entertaining. Attractive article. No thanks! What if I actually AM more intelligent, driven, passionate than any of them. Guys like more extroverted women, ideally a bit more stupid than they are. So according to this article, we should just all become a bunch of ESFP's. That would be completely fake and I would be attracting someone I most likely wouldn't want to be around.

I tend to think if we are going to apply personality to relationships, we might as well focus on finding people we natually like being around rather than pretending to be something we aren't.

I didn't read everyone else's comments until after I wrote mine.

join told all

I am glad to see other INTJ's see this in a similiar way. I am an isfj dating an intj. We have been dating for the last three years and I only just found out that he is an intj!! And our S and T really clash quite a lot.

can recommend come

INTJ female here. I just started reflecting on how I respond in these situations I'm unqualified to date.

assured, what already

I sent a link to a guy who wanted to date me because he wanted to correct me before checking. Then someone outside my social class contacts me and I HAD to go ahead and get all logical and tell him I'm not the woman for him.

apologise, but

He must know me and what he wants because he asked me to call him. I did. Then these other two The other IDK what but didn't give them a chance. A other one a successful lawyer but has BPD or emotionally immature- fun af though.

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Now that I'm grown enough to know that's the M. This blog post is laughable at best. While it's true that when I was younger, I was clueless about romance No matter the type of couple hetero, gay, lesbo. For example, when a woman says "she is fine" when she is not, it's her test to see if the man cares enough to open her up emotionally with presence and action.

But what she is actually pissed off at the weakness of the man, that caused her to go in her masculine which she doesn't like and if prolonged over time, the sexual polarity will fade away. But I'm still amazing at romance and flirting, when the situation calls it. Some of this is on-target but some of it is a bit wide of the mark.

I married a woman who I simply realised was who I could trust, would be a fantastic mother, a great lover but to be blunt is not the most intelligent woman I have ever met. Her love of crappy TV, cooking shows, horrible cheezy books and facebook is something I just accept is part of the fantastic deal it has turned out to be - for me anyway. I am only too aware of my lack of social grace and knew that much more critical to a successful marriage would be the need to find someone capable of ignoring my blunt comments instead of me looking for who was really intelligent.

It worries me a little that in later years I will need a little more intellectual stimulation at home but at the moment I have a few friends that I mentally spar with and that meets my needs. But I completely shy away from intimacy and romance when it comes down to it, particularly physical intimacy.

Aug 02,   Here's what real INTJs want you to know about being in a relationship with them. Even when an INTJ finds that special person, they can still be an enigma. Here's what real INTJs want you to know about being in a relationship with them. INTJ, Love and Dating August 2, August 2, Dating as a female INTJ is insanely difficult. We're often misunderstood and for that reason, it's important to remember these INTJ female dating tips so you can really get the most out of a date. P.S. I've read a lot of books and taken a lot of courses, but the one thing that has helped me the most is the INTJ Starter Kit by Personality.

Rarely do I feel like I get to be true to myself in dating. Being 28 myself and asking all these same questions I realized that I'm missing so much warm moments in my seclusion and started getting this solved a year ago, tinder, speed datings, getting social After 9 tries I probably can say, that you have 2 options: - 'Your' person will just click, you will have no doubt about that.

You will know when you meet her - since any time you spend together makes you feel energized and motivated, comfortable and interesting. Maybe they don't 'click' immediately, or not tick all your checkboxes, but here you have to decide if you'd like to compromise any of these, or if any other her traits compensate the lack of others. Believe that she is the one and then act as in option 1. I haven't tested this yet, because this is more plan B for me right now, still believe the next one is the one.

INTJ relationships are best known for having an overture of evolution. According to the Myers-Briggs profile, the INTJ personality is comprised of introverted, intuitive, thinking, and judging traits. A relationship with this quiet but self-sure individual can be very enlightening to the participants as a couple as well as on an individual level. INTJs are not known for placing a lot of emphasis on romance. We embody the suppression of emotion, not the expression of it. We can be so matter-of-fact and hard-headed that it's difficult to imagine us doing something as frivolous as falling in love. At the same time, we want a relationship. We know that we're pretty darned outstanding as relationship material, just too. Dec 26,   To make it a bit easier for all of us, we will list down the traits of these women, to get to know them a bit better, and also some tips and tricks on dating this type of woman. Traits of an INTJ woman. She's your so-called female brother-she gets along with the guys, but she also knows how to show her femininity. We already know that all.

Reading this article was interesting. I would say that we are a good match, but I feel like I need more verbal validation in order to reassure myself of our growing bond. Also, some more cheesy romance would be nice. I want to have a discussion about it and believe that comprise will play a big role in the continuation of our relationship. Do any of you have suggestions? The poor guy has learnt over 7 years how weird and wacky I am and understands when I'm really trying, even if it is lame.

Luckily I met him at 15 and so I wasn't such a control freak yet :D Really like your article! Growing up, not even interested in the opposite sex, i first heard "someone thinks you are cute" from a classmate, i didnt even know what to do with that information at that point, but it got me thinking, years later, hitting 17 i had my first girlfriend, basicly a woman hassling about how she thought i was cute and wanted to meet up so we did.

Everything was awkward and quirky and didnt last long. I started actually getting interested in people, i made it my "mission" to learn people,it took somewhat of a wrong turn, i learned how to manipulate people because i knew themselves better than they did, all their emotions could be boiled down and exploited, i could steer and manipulate as i saw fit, getting partners wasnt an issue, neither was throwing them away as i had a hard time making actual and meaningfull connections, more enjoying my "power" over people more than anything.

Now that i am older i can reflect back on this, to see how seemingly driven and engaged i can seem and how attractive this can be, how being smart, seeing what makes people get exited and tick has given me a scewed relation to people: Now im older, im hitting 33, been trying to get proper dates and relationships but it is so hard, finding someone who can "understand me" seems like the biggest hurdle, i feel like i am in control, that i cannot let this feeling go away, and a relationship has to be something else Anyone else had a similar experience and can relate?

I love the idiot but I need him to show his love and appreciation for me and he simply can't figure out how to do it in a authentic way that makes me feel unloved and insecure although overall I am a confident person. I'm breaking up with him because he has no ways to deal with any non positive feelings I have and it seems like he just expects me to put them away and get back to being happy without any part in it. I told him this week that it was the 3 year anniversary of my dad's death and he struggled to show any empathy.

I love him and really wanted to be with him, but at the same time watching him struggle so hard just to show to me basic emotions, I'm planning to end the relationship.

Oddly he's the only man ever thought of marrying, but its goodbye. I have an INTJ girlfriend. I still love her despite of being so critical. I really admire her. I'm losing hope right now. I feel like i'm not the one for her. I've reached my limit. I'm tired of saying sorry. I don't know if she loves me the way I am or she wanted me to be better because that's what she prefers.

I'm pressured. It gives me anxiety every night. I know it isn't healthy.

Intj female dating advice

But i'm tired talking and demanding things from her. The constant chase and the countless fights exhaust me. I still love her. I really do. But I need to redeem myself. I contemplate on admitting it. Little ISFJ, I'm glad that you recognize that your situation isn't healthy and I hope that you've been able to take action to remedy it. All comments are moderated. Please be courteous.

INTJ Lair // Advice to Those Dating INTJs

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Truity's Personality and Careers Blog. Words matter INTJs inhabit a world that resembles Downton Abbey - cold on the outside, but there's always something spicy percolating beneath. Actions speak louder than words The old adage, "show, don't tell," is crucial to nailing romance.

Some people actually celebrate Valentine's Day INTJs are the least likely of all the personality types to remember sentimental events such as birthdays and holidays because we don't see the point of these traditions.

Game plans only work when you're playing chess INTJs notoriously approach dating the way they approach most situations - with a game plan. A date is not an interview INTJs famously require a mate of the mind - someone clever, preferably genius, and independent enough to stand up to the INTJ's formidable intellect. Sometimes, you've just got to go for it INTJ's score high on the Judging scale, which means they like to have things decided.

No one likes haughty If you want to destroy romance, be sure to think of yourself as smarter, more intuitive, more conscientious, more rational and more important than your date. Sometimes you have to be selectively blind INTJs are known for plain-speaking. Romance requires routine maintenance You change the oil in your car because you don't take its smooth running for granted. Comments Guest not verified says This article had me laughing to myself.

A lot of it is bang on! T not verified says AJG not verified says GirlyINTJ not verified says The Quiet One not verified says Just another Jacob not verified says That is how I got into a relationship 4 out of 5 times. I dislike outside help but it has been useful before. INFJ Here not verified says You crazy lol. Somebody named Paul not verified says Kay not verified says SR not verified says MushyFish not verified says Candice not verified says Ted L not verified says Jayne - First off, excellent analysis!

Christi not verified says Ronnie not verified says Guest not verified says I love this!!! Spot on!!! I didn't love. Lol not verified says Jeannie not verified says FaithP not verified says Christamcday not verified says This is freakn awesomely hilarious left the planet, hell yeah bring it baby:. ISTJ not verified says AJ Melvin not verified says I completely agree with that.

John Enfield not verified says That was beautiful. That gives me hope. MissionLifePartner not verified says Female INTJ not verified says Sage not verified says Could be just me, this typing thing, is hard to nail it exactly down. Janainthegarden not verified says Keith Hays says Dianna not verified says Wow not verified says Thank you for this.

Maybe I'll find a great partner and debater. Shy INTJ male here. And also controlling. Dates are meant to be fun and spontaneous. Put your planner hat away for just a few hours and let yourself have fun. Since words can be hard for INTJs, especially when feelings are involved, you may need to focus on how you treat the other person.

Instead of telling him how much you appreciate him, bring his favorite candy along on your next date. You can even offer to pay, order him a drink, or get dessert on the way home to spend more time with him. A date is not an interview. That being said, us INTJs have a habit of asking questions like they are one.

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    1. Taujas

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    2. Gashakar

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