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In it, we discussed a study from Wallet Hub, which said that Portland was a really good place to be single. The response, especially from straight women, was swift: Portland, they told us, was very bad for single women and also, was Brian real We checked her out and she seems like a lovely person. All of the women who responded hoping to meet Brian seemed nice in fact, which led us to wonder, what is going on with the men in Portland that makes so many women interested in a man whose only known attributes are good hair, likes activities, may pay for a drink or two and also has a job in an unstable industry? It is, according to these women and others, very rough out there for women interested in dating men. Get a little older, buy a house you can afford on the other side of , and forget it.

Straight guy here. The women in Portland, however, seem traumatized by the experience of dating here. There were two other common complaints: Multiple women mentioned men who drink way, way too much, and also the huge number of apparently polyamorous men on dating sites.

Not that they were anti-polyamory, they just are looking for someone interested in a monogamous relationship. Portland straight men, this next part is for you.

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Our coworker Brian cannot possibly date all these women. He has a job! Please consider treating women a little bit better, for his sake and for theirs. Dudes, be nicer. Be honest about what you want. Check it out for yourself - No, don't count the women you see with guys already or those ladies you see who go out at and go home around those aren't single women, they're married or committed women having girls nights outsubtract them and pickings are mighty slim.

Basically a lot of horny dudes sitting around staring each other and getting drunk. Most of them end up in strip joints because it's better than sitting around in a singles bar staring at a bunch of hairy assed dudes.

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Fun Fact: Portland has more strip joints per capita than any other major city. Gee, I wonder why. The best singles cities for men are in sunny warm weather cities, they attract more young women, and it's young women that make a single scene happening.

In Portland, it can be singularly tough to find love. We found reasons why dating is tougher for young singles in the city, but its demographics suggest a good mate could be a heartbeat away. Sep 13,   the Portland dating scene is great. yes there are a lot of liberal, hippie types, but there's also a lot of transplants here starting over that aren't at all earthy. especially women . A girl I once knew who lived in LA and New York described Portland as terrible for dating. We discussed it and basically agreed that before the yuppie boom, Portland was where all the .

The population in Portland has increased dramatically the last 20 years, unfortunately for single men it attracts a disproportionately greater number of young single guys, young women especially hot looking onestend to be a lot less interested in moving to Portland. They also tend to move to more glamorous places when they get old enough. The combination makes Portlnd a lousy single scene for men. A lot of people, especially women, will try to claim this isn't true but they're full of it.

Spend a couple of weeks hanging around the Portland nightscene and you'll know the truth. Oh yeah, Seattle is not great shakes either, at least compared to socal or Phoenix, but it's a lot better than Portland, M to F ratio runs about 3 or maybe 4 men to 1 womannot what I would call good but manageable, I've hung out in Seattle many times and manage to hook up fairly regularly, Portland it's much less frequent.

I don't mean this in a judgemental way, but if you've consistently been having trouble on the dating scene for that many years, it may have less to do with the city you live in, and more to do with yourself and the types of women you're choosing to date.

Jun 08,   Howdy friend, The dating scene in Portland is actually not that bad. Here are some good points (to me). * Most dates will offer to split the bill. That's a refreshing change from the . It's really targeted at people who are in their early 20's and don't know how dating works. I'm in my early 30's, which is a pretty different dating scene than my 20's, and of course that's different . Nov 14,   "Not a day goes by where myself or one of my mid something single friends lament about how bad about the dating scene is here in Portland," one reader, Isabelle, wrote.

I speak from experience. I spent my 20s and 30s being attracted to a certain type most of us have a "type" and having no success forming a lasting relationship. I, too, kept meeting women who claimed they were looking for one thing but who subsequently turned out to have different agendas. I also met several who said I was "perfect on paper," but who "didn't feel any chemistry" and preferred to be "just friends.

To make a very long story short, one of my bachelor friends started dating a former coworker who was interested in him, but who wasn't his type. They dated for a couple years, much of that time half-heartedly on his part, but eventually his feelings for her changed. He did a lot of soul searching, and finally decided to marry her. It was his first marriage, and he was Now it's 13 years later, and they're very happy together.


A couple years after he got married, he gave me a piece of advice that, at the time, made no sense to me: "Try dating women who aren't your type. But I eventually reached such a state of despair about ever finding a soulmate that I decided to take his advice. I dated several women who seemed nice but who lacked various criteria on my checklist artsy Bohemian intellectual, within five years of my own age, not formally religious, no kids, etc.

Finally, I met someone who didn't meet any of those criteria I just listed - but we hit it off immediately. Now it's 9 years later, and we've been happily married for the last 7. I'm not going to pretend that it's all mystical and inexplicable, although love does contain an element of mystery, as well as luck. I did a lot of self-analysis, trying to figure out why I'd been so unlucky in love, and why "my type" had been my type in the first place.

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I did indeed figure it out, along with why I was incompatible with my supposed type we all engage in unconscious, self-destructive behaviors to varying degrees. I also was forced to admit that I had some personality and behavioral traits that I'd been unaware of, but that, once my now-wife pointed them out, I wasn't proud of.

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Through a lot of time and effort, I was able to minimize them. She had some comparable flaws who doesn't? That's been a key component in the success of our relationship: the wllingness to communicate and compromise. If I'd responded to this post 10 years ago, I would have agreed that single Portland women were ditzy, self-centered, granola-eating flakes who were afraid of commitment and who said one thing but did another.

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Now I see that I was only dating a certain segment of Portland women - and that I was choosing women who were very much like I was. I was subconsciously setting myself up for dating failure.

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That said, even if you've pretty much figured yourself out, I think that dating does become more difficult as people get older. People become set in their ways and are less willing to compromise. Their lives become busier.

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Most emotionally healthy people who want to be in a relationship already are. I remember an infamous article in Time magazine during the s that said something to the effect that a woman who had never married by age 30 was statistically more likely to die in a plane crash than to get married. The author blamed this on men, saying that the vast majority, no matter what their age, only wanted to marry women who were under Both he and she gave me a high-five as they sat down at a nearby table.

This seemed to bring out a flood of inner fears and insecurities about dating in a small city, and these feelings are legitimate, but worth getting past.

16 Reasons Dating in Portland Is Different Than Anywhere Else

As anyone who has lived in a large city before moving to Portland knows, there is an anonymity to dating that allows you to go on dozens of first dates in a week, date more than one person at a time, or abruptly end a relationship.

Here in Portland, those are not luxuries we have. And honestly, thank God!

I have after many years of complaining about these things learned to embrace the quirks of dating in the awkwardness that is our little city. There are three harsh realities that keep many people from fully committing to dating in Maine. And they are facts people cling to like life preservers as excuses for being alone forever.

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Unless your new lover has been celibate or they just moved here from Brooklyn you lucky SOB they have almost certainly dated someone you know, you know OF, your friends know, or your ex knows. And all of these notions are quietly disturbing in their own way, if you let those thoughts fester.

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Everyone knows everyone and we need to get over it. Acknowledge it, acknowledge how weird it is, and move on.

Except maybe Indiana Jones. That would be horrible!

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If people know you are single, they are more likely to ask you out, or hook you up with a friend. And there is nothing to be ashamed about.

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